Mood Board: Passport Portfolio

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It’ time for another trip.
This time I’ll be roaming the streets of London and Rome. What a perfect time to get away.
I’ve kind of been on my “loner” thing these past couple of months. I’ve had so much on my mind, re-evaluating my priorities, the energies I want to be surrounded by, and finally just focusing on myself.  I don’t go out as much as I used to, and I find myself spending my afternoons and nights alone, just drawing.
I’ll tell you this though, I’ve been creating like crazy. New illustrations, and so many shoots.
Europe will be no different. I won’t be drawing, but I’m taking all of my photography equipment to produce more images for my portfolio. I’ve been using my camera more and more and I’m loving it.
I hope you guys stay tuned and don’t forget to check out my new photography website and my photography instagram.
See you soon.
-Milli

Mood Board: Changes

So Moody

Hair, it’s constantly changing, at least for me it is. There are so many choices. so many colors and textures\, how can a girl choose?
If you know me, you know that my hair is everlastingly going through phases. The other day I was in the mirror, with scissors in   hand wand was two seconds away from giving myself bangs again. I told myself about 3 years ago, I wouldn’t do it again, so whyyyyy?? I trimmed, but didn’t take the plunge. I am thinking about chopping it all off though. My ends are horrible, and maybe it’s good excuse for a new look. I haven’t really been looking or feeling cute lately, I need to do something.
But realistically, right now I’ve been focusing more on color.
I’m slowly transitioning, and have been trying to get rid of all the brassy orange in my hair, i stages. I’m trying my best not to do bleach, but chemicals will always be toxic. I’ve been counteracting with deep conditioners religiously, hoping I don’t end up bald, like my mother always told me I would.
I’ve been in love with this dark ashy blonde, or light ash brown kind of color, and I’m trying to slowly get to it. I’ve been using toners like Wella’s T18 and 050 , bc we all know purple is the opposite of yellow on the color wheel. And if you didn’t, now you know. I know I have to do another session of bleach to go lighter, but really?? Ugh. So annoying.

In Loving Memory

Photos taken by grandfather, Ernesto.

Two days ago I received a call, my grandfather passed away. His stage three cancer was terminal, and he lost the battle. We weren’t really close, but I know he was a good man. A man who worked his whole life, hard and took care of his family. I know my uncle and aunt (his kids) are devastated right now. I haven’t called yet, I know I should.. but I can’t seem to find the words. I’ll find some today.

Last time I saw him, about a month ago. I was bonding with Mari, his wife who was telling about these pictures he took at work. They were gorgeous. I was kinda surprised he had such a good eye, I wanted to frame them, and asked her to send them to me. When he got home I joked around that I probably got some of my creative vision from him. He chuckled and said it was nothing. But it was something.. look at that rainbow, look at that sky… now that is something.

May you live peacefully in the cotton colored clouds, you will be missed.

If you would like to donate towards his medical expenses and/or funeral costs please feel free to bless us HERE

Casi Casi Me Voy

Hello my beautiful people,

Casi casi me voy = almost, I’m leaving.

The time is sneaking on me, I have one more day until I get to board the plane and start my travels. Ugh, Lord knows I need this vacation so much. I’m an adventurer at heart, and when I get to experience different cultures, and learn new things, my soul is instantly happy. I know I’ve been a bit pretty shy to say where I’m going, but no worries, I’m here to take all of that doubt away.
First stop, Puerto Rico. I have never been, and I think I’m more excited than my second stop, even though I can’t wait to see  my family in Dominican Republic. Upon my arrival in Puerto Rico, at least according to the plans I have in mind, The Electric Daisy Carnival is going to be a blast, even though I just found out it’s supposed to rain. boooooo…

That’s not going to stop me though, even if I have to dance in the rain with muddy toes and wet curls on my head, I’m going to have a blast.

I feel like the days have been going by so fast and so slow at the same time. Work, I’ve been counting down the days, when it comes to getting everything I need, I feel like I have no time to get it all done. Right now, I told myself I was going to take a trip to an artshow in the city, but honestly I don’t see that happening. My room has been turned upside from trying to find summer clothing, and I have dumped everything into an open suitcase, which needs to be organized. I need to make my list and check it twice, and I know my guy wants to go shopping tomorrow for some last minute tanks and essentials.

I on the other hand, wish I could get my hands on a new camera that I fell in love with and don’t seem to own yet… I just want to cry! maybe I’ll spoil myself for my birthday, hey, I deserve it.

Anyway, back to the itinerary, originally we were supposed to take the Ferry from Puerto Rico to D.R. but that ended up back firing, and it actually worked out for the better. If we were to take the ferry it would have been a 12 hour trip at a higher price, so we just ended up booking a flight which ended up being cheaper and just an hour to get to our destination. Win-win.

When I get to D.R. I’m excited to see my cousins, aunts and grandmothers. My cousin Coral justhad a baby girl, who is the cutest little thing.

February 27 is El Dia De La Independencia– Day of Independence, which means we’re going to be partying all day and drinking all night long, of course like any hispanic family does. But anywho, let me get going… it’s time to stop procrastinating and actually pack.

See you guys soon!

kiss kiss

Out of My Mind

Things may seem better off, but we all know we all carry our hurt tucked inside, deep into the abyss of the loneliness and the darkness.

The future was held in my hands, now when my eyelids press together my heart sinks alongside with it, This is your day, you deserve to have a life full of happiness.

I want you to have it, I wish nothing but the best in your encounters, and though the hurt is till painful,

the escape of the reality haunts me, scared for what is to come around any or every corner.

The vengeance, I wish would fade, especially since we both know we did the the best we could.

Smile a little, know that I hold you in my heart, know that I wish to remember the good, for you are good, just blurred with evil thoughts.

HBD.

(i in no way own this music or video… poem above is 100% me)

Love Hate Departure

th (1)My time is almost up. I have 2 days left, and I’m currently waiting on my cousin Yenny so we can go get some chinola margaritas. I’ve never had one, and she claims they are absolutely delicious.

Honestly if it wasn’t for her, this whole trip would have been a total bust. She was mainly the one who kept me by her side, meeting new people and taking me to all the places she could think of and just simplying hanging out.

Even on the days I didn’t want to hang out, but just stay in. Be anti-social and just stay with my Netflix, watching Glee back to back. Which I totally got her addicted to by the way… now I can’t watch a single episode without her asking me, if I’m skipping ahead of her.

She actually took the time to get to know me and what I like. Which I’m grateful for.thEveryone has been great, on the times I’m not getting hassled on why I don’t drink enough. My grandmother and Aunt Olga have fed me to the point that I feel like I’m going to pop. The food is absolutely delicious, which was hard for me at first, since I had 4 molars removed and could barely open my mouth wide enough to fit in a spoon, let alone chew. Just thinking about it hurt.

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I got to bond with my nieces and nephews (who are really my second cousins). Which I’m grateful for, because I never had the chance of meeting any of them. Last time I was here, I was 10 years old and my eldest cousin Yocasta was pregnant, I left and then she gave birth. Michelle is now 15 years old. Where does the time go?

Now I have Michelle 15, Ashley 11, Victor 10, Edwardito 3, and Frandy 2 running around being awesome, all with extremely different yet strong personalities.  They are all so beautiful in their own ways, and watching the little ones run around and be oooooh, so bad, it’s just hilarious to me.

I have a love hate relationship with me leaving. I’m glad I’m going to be going back to the place that I call home, though I am desperate to move. I’m glad I’m going back to a job, the bills have to get paid. I’m glad I’m going back to friends and family, the ones that I remain close to, and of course I am glad to go back to Q. I miss him terribly, he drives me absolutely crazy to the point that I don’t even know why I let myself go crazy. But I know I have a good man, a good man with crazy ways. I want to see him already and pounce on him and get back to our routines of staying in with wine and watching dumb shows. Going back to me irritating him and him just taking it.

On the other hand, I want to stay… being surrounded by family every single day, is all I’ve ever wanted. I love the full house full of different personalities, making a mess and laughing. I feel like im in my own sitcom. There’s always something new popping up and it’s just so colorful. 12201596351902363691wear wedding ring.svg.hi

There’s talks about me coming back in December, like my other cousins from NY usually do. lt’s really a full house then. This house is filled with like 20 extra people. All extra drunk to add. But I know, that I have to plan and budget to great detail if I want to make that happen. Q and I have been talking about getting married November 2014 since last year… and now it seems like it’s getting closer and closer, without us being prepared or even taking the first step. I have a feeling our date just may change. Well, let’s see what life and the big man upstairs has in store for us. You can only plan so much. Margarita.with.Lime.Wall.Decorations

Excuse my ranting, but I figured why not while I wait……

I think I hear that margarita calling my name.

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