I was looking through Jasmine’s facebook, and bumped across her notes….. one out of the four notes was this:
Titled: When Love is Real, No Time is Ever Wasted
Have you ever been at the closing end of a relationship where you find yourself standing in silent (or not so silent) anger thinking or perhaps yelling at the top of your voice “What a waste of time!”
Recently during a break-up that one of my girls was going through, I asked her how she was coping. She snapped, “that was nothing but a waste of time.” Since I’d heard that response dozens of times before from my men and women friend’s alike, I offered her some comforting words but after that, really didn’t think or consider any deeper meaning to the statement until early one morning a few days ago.
While walking in the village headed somewhere, I found myself noticing people rushing down the street in every direction moving much faster than I could’ve hoped for. Then, as if dividing my visual perception into a kind of split screen between fast and slow motion, I noticed this elderly couple moving slowly forward, dressed for a destination that must’ve required a three button suit (with bow tie), a fancy dress (with white gloves) and a hat that must have had a history all it’s own.
They inched along pushing this walker slowly enough for me to create my imagined details of their life together. She held the walker firmly with both hands, slightly hunched over with her head lowered, as if counting foot steps, while he gripped one side as if to partly push and keep his balance at the same time. Their delicate, wrinkled hands, touching ever so slightly, created a signal of trust that neither of them would violate. She seemed to move just a fraction of a beat slower then him, but his refusal to speed up, even a little, revealed a kind of patience that only a lifetime together could teach. This depth of connection in their movement revealed to me that the time to take one another for granted had long past.
Then for no apparent reason, he turned to her and gave the hint of a smile that seemed to lift her high enough to return it eye to eye.
As they slowly passed, I couldn’t help but applaud with a smile of my own, in honor of a love that had obviously withstood the rockslides of conflict, stayed afloat in the stormy seas of misunderstandings and survived the wounds of heartbreak.
Their slow, steady walk to that special occasion, gave me just enough time to recall the sound of my girl’s voice as she declared that giving and sharing her love was just a waste of time. I thought of calling her at that moment to correct her view but instead took the moment to learn what it means when loving someone, if only for a moment, should never be considered a waste of time.
-Written on 11/18/2010 by Jasmine M. Nunez